Lackadaisical walk with God

I’ve made a decision to be transparent. That is the only way not to be a fraud in my opinion. However this decision , is easier said in my mind, then outwardly achieved. I fear becoming vulnerable to other peoples objections, or having my most intimate ideals discovered by someone who will use them against me. However, what I want to do , out weighs what I am afraid of .
Recently I have discovered that my walk with God has become lackadaisical. Majority of it is Good intention and spoken word. I have modified behaviors to accommodate what I think is in line with the word. I have made few attempts to get as close to “ in line “ with the word of God as I can. But I haven’t sacrificed much . I have made this a comfort walk for myself. I have basically without words told God to meet me where I am . WHO AM I ?
I am , thankful for the revelation! It is a blessing to uncover the severity of your own foolishness. But most of my desires have been of the fleshly desire. Those things that are tangible. I know that two masters cant be served, and I wish to serve God and God alone. I don’t not expect to be freed from every iniquity. However, I know that I need to fervently seek God. I have just been chillin. Saying 100’s of prayers and taking no action. I feel no shame in admitting this because I know that I am not the ONLY one with this ailment. It is easy to think that you are saved when you put forth effort to change behavior. However the questions of my salvation arise from my heart. The things that I don’t say, the actions that are desired but haven’t yet occurred. The iniquities of my weak and thirsty spirit is what needs to change.
How many of us have done a “good deed” and hold on to THAT deed and conveniently unacknowledged all unspoken bad “deeds” of our inner most thoughts? Hypocrisy is the yellow brick road to hell. Think about it .